The Seven Sisters is a Myth About Consent???

Yeah I know
what the fuck right
coming out of the veritable rape circus of greek mythology
it’s hard to imagine any myths having like
a positive attitude about women saying no to sex
but here we are
in this Aboriginal story
about to learn what the fuck “no” means.

So there are these seven ice queens who live in space
ice queen here is not metaphorical
these ladies are literally made out of ice
which makes it weird how incredibly hot they all are
they are so hot that they are STARS
specifically the pleiades
and everybody wants to get with a star
so obviously these ladies are in demand
and since some people are assholes
bad shit is bound to happen

basically some cock-sergeant named Wurrunnah
through “a cunning device”
probably made of a bear trap and a fishing rod or something
manages to trap not one but two of the star ladies.
I don’t know why he needed two
I mean I guess I do know why
but still
seems greedy
anyway he gets them down to earth and then he realizes
MUCH TO HIS UNJUSTIFIED SURPRISE
that these ladies are made out of actual ice
and are thus totally unfuckable

so Wurrunnah does what any psychopath would do in this scenario
he builds a fire and tries to melt the ice off so he can have sex with them
but yo they are MADE OF ICE
so as they start to melt
their ice turns into water and puts out the fire
which means all Wurrunnah has managed to do
is make these ladies a little skinnier and lumpier
but he’s not giving up
because you gotta go full asshole, you know
so he sends them out to the forest to get pine bark for another fire
and the pine tree they go to is like YO
CLIMB ON MY TRUNK
I WILL TAKE YOU TO SPAAAACE
which is a thing I wish more trees would say to me
but anyway it works and they escape
still all fucked up from the fire
which is why two of the stars in the pleiades are dimmer than the others

ANYWAY
there are two other dudes in love with the ladies
and these dudes are miraculously NOT assholes.
They are called the Berai Berai
or “Two Brothers”
WOW
anyway these dudes are super respectful
they’re always leaving offerings to the star ladies when they go hunting
and i don’t know
writing them poetry or some shit
anyway the ladies aren’t interested
probably because they don’t eat meat and no one likes poetry
so the Berai Berai never get to consummate their love
they just keep making offerings until they die

BUT THAT’S NOT THE END
when the two brothers die the spirits take pity on them
so what do you think they do?
do they force two of the women to marry the two men?
maybe the two women who already got damaged by the fire
because like whatever???
NO
they put the two brothers up in the sky
at a respectful distance
where they can enjoy the star ladies’ beautiful singing FOREVER
in fact
those dudes are what we refer to in the west
as Orion’s belt and Orion’s bow.
You might think it would be torture
to listen to the objects of your affection sing forever
but they seem to actually really enjoy it
plus they get to be stars

all of this goes to show
as I have said before
that it is totally cool to love someone from afar
for as long as you want
just as long as you are totally cool being miserable about it forever.

The end.

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4 thoughts on “The Seven Sisters is a Myth About Consent???

  1. I especially like how this implies that *some* trees actually *do* offer to take Ovid to space. I’m not surprised, though…

  2. This story actually made me a little teary from happiness. Surprised. Most myths make me mad or sad. Thanks for sharing this one.

  3. Great to see an Aussie myth! More please and do you happen to know which Aboriginal people this myth comes from?

  4. This seems to have been adapted from the Greek version, where the Pleiades were also a bunch of sisters, who spurned the affections of Orion (from whose name “Wurrunah” is probably derived), leading him to pursue them in the sky ad infinitum after Zeus (who is apparently cool with his own raping of women left, right, and upside-down, but not Orion’s attempts to do the same) turns them into a bunch of space-doves. And there were about six different explanations for why one (or more) of the sisters were dimmer stars. Take your pick.

    Oh, and Tauros was shoved in the middle of the two to protect the sisters from him for some reason. Except Tauros’s head also contains the Hyades, who were the sisters of the Pleiades, so I’m not sure why exactly a bull made up of some hot ladies’ sisters constitutes a deterrent for a Greek dude, who, as we all know, hails from a culture where apparently people getting it on with other people who are in the shape of various animals, or animals sent by the gods or whatever, is just another Tuesday. Certainly didn’t stop Pasiphae.

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