So if you were/are an english major/complete loser
you have probably had a conversation with your friends/imaginary friends
where you all try and remember what all the circles are in hell
and you CANNOT FOR THE LIFE OF YOU REMEMBER
wanna know why?
BECAUSE ALL THE CIRCLES HAVE CIRCLES IN THEM
NOW YOU KNOW
THE HAT CAME OFF!
Yay! I would say this made my weekend…but it couldn't quite compete with my latest bid for the 2nd circle of Hell.
WHY IS EVERYBODY GETTING LAID EXCEPT ME
They couldn't chart a boat because science would have stopped them.
@Ovid: …because you don't know my friends? Right?
For the record, when I turned one of my friends here on to your treasure chest of WONDERFUL, she swore up and down that she would, inevitably, sleep with you. So, um, there's that.
I would like to state for the record that if not for the fact that I'm married, I'd totally sleep with you, Ovid.
I'd like to state for the record that I am single, and yes I would sleep with you. So stop bitching and start traveling.
WOMAN I JUST GOT DONE TRAVELING
Well, at least you can get laid in theory.
Do you ever get up to Seattle?
Maybe this summer.
Well, I'm available if you ever find yourself in Canada…
This was seven kinds of awesome, but you skimmed over one of Dante's best moments of prickery:
That dude whose hair he tears out? That only happens because he won't apologize for KICKING THE DUDE IN THE FACE. Dante's just walking through the third ring, and he kicks this dude in the face, and said dude is like "MAN WHAT THE FUCK, REMOVE YOUR FOOT FROM MY FACE" and Dante goes "BITCH, who the fuck are you?" and the dude won't talk to him, because he's shy or some shit. It is at this point that Dante has a shit fit because this guy DOESN'T want to discuss Florentine politics with him, and he then proceeds to tear out the dude's hair. What the fuck.
Dante was basically a crazy motherfucker.
Have you gotten anyone to transcribe the videos for you yet? Because I can do it, if you want.
Omg, yes. And the stupid lecturer put it on the final test, as if remembering those circles (with the kind of people in it) mean shit.
Anyway, I am grateful I found your book and this site. XD
xoxoxo
I NEARLY CHOKED on some grapes when I heard ‘giant evil air conditioner’. I can’t even tell how many times I’ve replayed that phrase.
I started to read the Inferno the other day after rereading the Da Vinci Code again (AAAAAA) because I figured- hey, book about hell. Can’t be that boring.
Raise your hand if you thought this too.
Then use that hand to sMACK YOURSELF IT IS UTTERLY DULL.
I couldn’t even read it. Just- god, Ovid, what you sacrificed to the blogging cause. To retell it, you had to rEAD THE ENTIRE THING.
*slow clap for Ovid’s brave sacrifice in the name of profane remixes of terrible literature*
Thank you.
-M