Man I Thought Reynard and Isengrin Were Just Characters From Gunnerkrigg Court

quick one today
cause i’m about to spend all night writing a play:

so there’s this fox named Reynard
you can already tell he’s trouble
because he has a person name
ain’t no good ever comes of giving people names to animals
don’t believe me?
just watch

Reynard is thirsty
cause it’s thirsty work being an asshole all the time
and he runs across a well
but OH NO
THERE’S NO WATER IN THE BUCKET
jesus, calm down guys
let me explain to you how wells work
wells have two buckets, wound around a pulley
when you lower one bucket into the water
the other bucket comes up, full of water
then
you drink the water

now let me explain to you how Reynard uses the well
step one is he jumps into the empty bucket
step two is he falls down into the well
step three is he drinks all the water his stupid face and contain
and step four is ….
well, shit

so Reynard is stuck in the well because he’s a moron
but all is not lost
because what Reynard realizes
is that if someone gets into the other bucket
that bucket will fall down, while his bucket will go up
or, you know, he could just ask someone to hoist up his bucket
but everyone hates him because he’s an asshole
so that plan is right out

as luck would have it, this is when Isengrin the wolf comes strutting by
and Reynard is like SWEET
i’ve fucked this dude over MANY A TIME
one more should be no problem
HEY ISENGRIN
YO
ISENGRIN
IT’S YOUR BUDDY REYNARD
I’M DOWN IN THIS WELL
EATING A DELICIOUS CHEESE
COME JOIN ME
and Isengrin looks down in the well
and he sees the reflection of the moon in the water of the well
and thinks it is an enormous cheese

see, this is the problem when you give animals people names and teach them to talk
they’re still dumb animals

so Isengrin is like CHEESE?!
I FUCKING LOVE CHEESE
and he jumps in the bucket and falls in the well
and Reynard gets hoisted out of the well like HAHA ENJOY YOUR CHEESE BITCH
and then in the morning a bunch of farmers come along and stone Isengrin to death
HAHA REAL FUNNY RIGHT

so I guess the moral of the story
is you should always look before you leap
unless you don’t care about murdering your friends
then you can pretty much leap into whatever

the end

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2 thoughts on “Man I Thought Reynard and Isengrin Were Just Characters From Gunnerkrigg Court

  1. Nice to see someone else reads that awesome comic. Actually, this story might well explain why Ysengrim is such a touchy asshole now, though that might be due to the fact that his boss is Coyote, who’s clear round the bend insane.

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