Good News/Bad News

Okay so bad news first:

no myth today guys
I am sorry I am so sorry
if you could see me you would see that I am throwing myself against my hardwood floor
rending my breast and smearing my face with ash
my excuse is that last night I played a game of my own invention
called let’s see how long I can not sleep so I can finish this short story for class
the good news is I won the game
but that is not the only good news my friends
no no no

see recently I have been laughing my fucking ass off
because all these people have been being like DUDE YOU SHOULD WRITE A BOOK
and the whole time people have been yelling that at me
I have totally been negotiating a book deal
with the ladies and dudes over at Perigee Books
and right now I am holding the contract in my hands
well I mean not right now right now because I need my hands to type
but the contract is definitely nearby
sometimes I look at it and I lick my lips

so here’s how this is gonna go down
this book is gonna have approximately 75-80 of the choicest myths from this website,
digitaly remastered with my veteran typing fingers
plus like 25-30 brand new never before seen ultramyths
and also bonus content
in the form of a sweet funky index
Retellings of Joseph Campbell’s “Hero with a Thousand Faces” and The Big Bang
and optimally rad illustrations by artiste extraordinaire Sarah Melville
who is the classy lady
who is responsible for anything on this website that doesn’t look like utter shit

but one more thing
and I guess this kind of qualifies as bad news
cause see in order to have time to make this book and still do grad school and shit
I am going to be TEMPORARILY going from 3 updates a week down to 2
instead of being Tuesday Thursday Saturday like normal
it is going to be just Tuesday/Thursday
(this week it will be thursday saturday though because I wussed out today)
I am very very tired and I need a little bit of a break
at least as much of a break as a guy can take
while writing a book and going to grad school
but I assure you, ladies and gentlemen
this new wussified schedule will NOT LAST BEYOND APRIL 2012
which is when the manuscript is due
and maybe less time than that depending on my progress on the book
anyway yeah that’s what’s up
I figured i should give you guys a heads up
so that you could reschedule your entire lives around my new update schedule
so uh
get on that

PS you guys are pretty much the best ever
getting emails from you and reading comments and all that
and really just knowing that this wacky bullshit I spew is getting read
is responsible for like 80% of my daily value of sunshine and unicorn smiles
so basically thank you for putting up with me
there will be more boners and swears on Thursday I promise

Ovidius Publius Naso

49 thoughts on “Good News/Bad News

  1. Can you please set up a pre-order thing so I can put the pre-order note in my girlfriend's x-mas card this year? Please? I want this.

  2. I tell everyone I know about your funny and interesting writing, mate.

    Sadly, I don't know many people.

    It is the thought that counts. Good luck with the book sales.

  3. I can think of at least two people I want to buy this for as a gift, plus a copy for myself. Good luck with your writing.

  4. Awesome! I second Laura's request for signed (personalized?!?) copies. Also, well done you for keeping shtum about it this long, especially in the face of so many "you should totally" comments.

    If you ask me, the "bad news" part of this update is that we have to wait until next year for the book! You can't, like, stop doing everything else and have it ready by Christmas?

  5. That's so exciting! Congratulations, can't wait to be able to have a book of all this. Good luck with all the time until April!

  6. I will buy the shit out of that book. And also the fuck and the rape and the tits and the vomit and all of the other words, really, because I've noticed bookstores complain when you walk up to the counter and hand them only the words you wanted and expect what seems to me to be a perfectly reasonable discount since why should you have to pay for a bunch of stuff that you don't want and if Burger King can give me a hamburger without pickles why can't Barnes and Noble give me a book without "moist" in it? (Such a creepy word, there oughta be a law.)

    Anyway, I'm buying it, is what I'm saying. Congratulations!

  7. This is the best news since that one dude was wrong about the world ending in May and then October and we got to laugh at him! You can count on my dollars reaching your pocket.

  8. First of all, best apology ever.

    Second, OH GOD A BOOK. I'll buy like ten copies and give them to all my friends. But not my parents, because they would be disturbed…

  9. I will buy two copies of your book: one for my home and one for my school, with which I shall teach a class of 6-year-olds the amazing world of hilariously retold myths. I can only imagine they will find the real thing even funnier than they find my paltry imitations.

  10. This is GOOD NEWS especially if I can buy it on Kindle in Englandshire, coz I'm trying to give up dead tree books so I can have space to eg sit down occasionally.

  11. HOLY GUACAMOLE! Let's party! D&D and beer at Nick's place! I am volunteering him!

    PS. I got a new phone and I don't have your number anymore. RECTIFY THIS!

  12. horaay! Please do shipping all the way to Indonesia…please please pretty please. We need any rad literature we could get. I need to spread the virus here 🙂

  13. Congrats on the book deal!!! I can't wait! This is pretty much the greatest website ever. So having it to treasure in book form will make my life.

  14. holy shit yessssss

    i'm the one who copy-and-pasted your blog posts into a thing i can read on my e-reader. so basically a paper book will be an EVEN MORE CONVENIENT conveyance of this verbal caffeine. also i can give you money for it. yay

  15. Congratulations Dude! That's awesome! Soon I will be able to hold and' not just, cherish your amazing tales of triptitude! YAY!

  16. Consider it preordered
    then i shall take it as my bride!
    and we shall take over the world!
    or my moms basement…
    whichever one has the most Pizza Bagels

  17. YAY!!!! now I can tell people I have a book by Ovid, and they can be all impressed and shit. but MY Ovid will be full of teh beautiful swear words, oh how I loves them.

    but srsly, you rock dude, you fuckin' rock.

  18. I found this blog and within ten minutes I'd bought the Norse Crisis shirt?
    Also you should check out because she's awesome and she drew Loki in the Norse Crisis shirt and it's totally meta and shit. Only not -exactly- but meta enough to be reasonably awesome.

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