Alright so a couple of announcements
First of all tomorrow is the last day to preorder shirts
and I still need some magnanimous motherfuckers to buy FIVE MORE
in order to make awesome occur
so do that
second of all i fixed the mistake i made in the last post
so you all can stop FUCKING WHINING ABOUT IT NOW OK
THIRD
I am officially no longer accepting money to tell text myths
I will finish out the ones people have already paid me to do
BUT NO MORE
there are a couple reasons for this
FIRST
people keep paying me to tell really long shit
and while i understand people wrote some REALLY SWEET LONG SHIT
but i think this blog works best in text form when shit is not really long
/I am too lazy to constantly read multi-hundred page epic texts
in exchange for beer money
SECOND
there are all kinds of sweet myths people want to hear/I want to tell
that i’m never gonna get around to if I keep bathing in this vat of request money
like I wanna tell some hindu shit
and people want me to tell some hindu shit
and i don’t think it’s fair to not tell some hindu shit
just cause hindu fans are fucking poor
so feel free to keep sending me suggestions
because when I’m sitting around trying to figure out what to write they really help
and also I WILL STILL TOTALLY KEEP DOING VIDEO MYTHS FOR MONEY
and also selling shirts and whatever
because it’s not like i stopped liking money or anything
but yeah
no more money for text myths
(unless you want me to tell a short myth for someone’s birthday or anniversary
or bar mitzvah or whatever
i guess i can do that)
Just when I was going to send you a pool of Scrooge McDuck-level bounty. sigh.
Ha ha! I got in just under the wire!
On the other hand, how the hell do *I* know how long your version of Balin and Balan is? I don't remember the whole story in Malory's Works being that long.
Also, don't even THINK about copyrighting the name Napalm "Sexpocalypse" Lightningsen. I'm gettin' that tattooed on my arm along with a creature that has a lion's body and a shark's head, which I call a "lion-shark". It will become my family crest.
Stay golden.
The name is yours, dude. Keep it. And I wasn't referring to you specifically. More shit like the Mabinogion and the Aeneid. Not that I didn't enjoy doing those but I can't keep doing shit like that.
The Aeneid? No way. You should have pushed the Reject button as fast as Logan did in Logan's Run when the dude showed up on the sex randomizer instead of a woman. Reject! Reject! Reject!