Right so anyway

there is a dude named endymion
and no one is really sure where his is or what he does
because some people say he was like
a king
and some people say he herded sheep
and some people say he was an astronomer
and he is buried in two different places
so like shit is pretty vague
but lets just assume
for the purpose of this story
that he was some kind of stargazing
hunk of sexy man
i say the last part
because every night
when he would stare up at the stars and shit
Selene the titan who moves the moon would look down
and be like holy shit that is some tasty manmeat right there
hey handsome whats your name
but endymion does not respond
because he is not a CRAZY PERSON who hears VOICES COMING FROM THE MOON
so selene goes over to zeus
and is like hey zeus i need you to do me a favor
and make this one guy immortal for me
and zeus is like why should i
and selene is prolly like i’ll touch your penis
and zeus is like for how long
and selene is like 20 seconds
and zeus is like 30
and selene is like 14
and zeus is like SOLD
so zeus is kind of a prick about it though
and instead of just making endymion immortal
he puts him to sleep
in a cave
but actually this works out pretty well for selene
because she is then free to daterape endymion endlessly
and in fact
she daterapes him a total of 50 times
and has 50 of his kids
thus ends history’s only account
of an astronomer getting laid

The End

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