This is what it looks like! Holy shit, right?

Hey guys,
Do you suffer from a dearth of mythological humor and rad pictures?
do you lie awake at night wondering what my real name is?
do you have a pesky neighbor kid who keeps stomping on your tomatoes?
order my first book
it will solve all your problems
it will arrive in the mail
you can sit on your front porch
the postman will put it right in your hand
and then you can immediately throw it at that fucking kid
the corner will lodge right in his smug little eye
it is aerodynamically designed
I designed it for that
he will be so surprised
everyone will be so surprised
you will be a goddamn legend
all for a measly 14 dollars.


AMAZON (Has already marked it off 20 percent! Savings!)
INDIE BOUND (Useful for preventing the death of literature!)
BARNES AND NOBLE (Still in business, baby!)
PENGUIN (The dudes what published it!)

Or if you’re not convinced, go read some reviews!

Plain Ketchup!

Electric Feast!
History With a Twist!
Paper Plates!
The Daily Grail!
Good Books Radio! (This one is actually an interview)
Goodreads! (Rated 4.2!)



  1. Dude! As soon as i get my money next month I’ll buy the shit out of your book. Witch means i won’t get much shit…because i assume it’s filled with gold – witch gets fucked by dwarves. That filthy lot…sorry about the racism, but Hell YEAH Myths!

  2. Damn your persuasiveness, I just had to order! Not even international shipping fees can get between me and these mangled pieces of hilarity.

  3. I just bought two copies: one for my brother and one for my classroom. I read a couple of the less obscenely profane tales to my class and they enjoyed it enough that I have to get the book now. Anyway, enjoy my money. ­čÖé

    • Woo one copy has arrived! Although less woo, the second has not yet. Updates to follow!? Anyway, I know what I’ll be doing with my evening.

  4. Just got my copy today. Totally overjoyed at some of the new content, but a bit perplexed at how they chose to condense/censor some of the existing myths? I totally get changing “fuck” in a lot of places, but other similarly-coarse speech gets left untouched, and a lot of the original silly/funny sex wordings like “wango-bango” get all uniformly swapped out with “bang”. I’m sort of curious as to what the editing process was like/what limitations they set on you at this point.

    Seriously though, just minor confusion, and probably me just being too in love with the myths as I read them on your site originally. This is a great thing you’ve made, and I’ll happily be leaving a five star review on the Amazon page once I finish tearing through the new stuff!

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  8. Dude, I bought your book. I really would like it if you read it to me though, it would save me a lot of work. Anyway, I should have remembered that I really don’t like reading before I bought it, so I guess it’s my fault. Hope this shit is good.

  9. Bought it, read it, gave it a shining review on Amazon!
    I’ve been passing it around and everyone’s really gotten a kick out of it. It’s, as always, hilarious! Good job, man!

  10. Just read your book. Absolutely awesome and hilarious! Also, did I happen to catch a wayward Futurama reference in there? Something regarding a partying worm?

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