Category Archives: Video

George Bush Re-Elected President? Fuck This, I’m Moving to Candide.

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So i was reading the newspaper this morning
after making myself the ULTIMATE SANDWICH
because it was lunchtime actually
but i had just woken up so it was MORNING FOR ME ASSHOLES
anyway in the newspaper they were talking about some ethics nonsense
and someone said something like
blah blah blah younger generations are left holding the bag
what the fuck does “left holding the bag” mean
what’s in the bag?
is it poop?
is there poop in the bag?
because if so
why did the younger generation agree to hold it to begin with?
ANYWAY HERE IS A VIDEO

all i’m saying
is if someone is like here hold this bag of poop
and you TAKE IT FROM THEM
YOU DESERVE WHATEVER HAPPENS NEXT

Candide is like Candid, but with an E at the end and an entirely different meaning

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Hey guys what is up

if you are in Japan then the answer is probably horrible tidal waves
which is why i think i ought to repost this thing that another guy posted
which is this:

you can donate $10 to the Red Cross by texting “REDCROSS” to 90999.

so do that
If you can spare 16 bucks for one of my dumb shirts
you can spare 10 bucks to rescue japanese people from beneath a FLAMING WALL OF WATER
okay now let’s hear about the aftermath of FICTIONAL earthquakes
well i mean actually the earthquake in candide was a real life earthquake
but you know what i mean
VIDEO:

PS the guy who posted that thing i copied (or girl, i dunno) runs this website
which has stolen HOURS OF MY TIME
and since some of you claim i have stolen hours of YOUR time
maybe this person has stolen hours of YOUR TIME
BY PROXY
THINK ABOUT IT

The Inferno, God dammit

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So if you were/are an english major/complete loser
you have probably had a conversation with your friends/imaginary friends
where you all try and remember what all the circles are in hell
and you CANNOT FOR THE LIFE OF YOU REMEMBER
wanna know why?
BECAUSE ALL THE CIRCLES HAVE CIRCLES IN THEM

NOW YOU KNOW

God Damn spelled backwards is almost Mad Dog, Which makes sense because I’m sure the Inferno is full of those

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Hey metafilter what’s up
I see you like myths
good thing I forgot to wear a shirt today
otherwise I wouldn’t have been able to record THIS:

Sometimes I worry that God never had any really good ideas for hell
and he just sort of waited for Dante to come along
and then copied all the shit he came up with
it’ll suck if that turns out to be what happened