How many mothers would the iliad fuck if the iliad could fuck mothers? ANSWER: YOURS

Alright so i hear it is talk like a pirate day
fuck that
i am not your fucking heartie
you wanna know why
because if you were to walk up to a pirate
like arr matey ye be bilgerattin me gangplank ahoy
you would find yourself on a one way
midnight express
to stabtown
population: your dumb ass

look guys all of this avast bullshit
is really fucking disrespectful to the pirate community
anyway what about somali pirates
i bet they dont say yarr too much do they?
well maybe they do
that’s a bad example
but how about scurvy dog
i dont think they say that very much
i dont even think they speak english very much
how does that make you feel
does it make you feel bad about yourself?
if so
i have admirably fulfilled my role
in ACT like a pirate day
which is a new holiday
scheduled for every day
of the rest of my life
now here’s a video about murder

I don’t need captain jack fuckity sparrow
telling me how to talk
and neither do you
break free motherfuckers
break free

2 thoughts on “How many mothers would the iliad fuck if the iliad could fuck mothers? ANSWER: YOURS

  1. I read The Illiad while I was bored in a strip club. It was a pretty good book to have around, because there was a lot of loud annoying pop music that made it hard to concentrate, but whenever I thought "shit I wasn't paying attention to the last two pages, what happened?" the answer was almost always "some guys died. No-one cares."

  2. Since this is the only mention you make of Hypnos and his wife Pasithaea, I have to address something. Hypnos is the god of sleep, right, and Pasithaea is the youngest of the Graces, and she’s the Grace of like relaxation and mellowing down. Now, as the god of sleep, Hypnos carries around poppies, which are the flowers of sleep because they contain opium of all things. What I imagine their marriage to be, as a result, is a couple of druggies high on all depressant drugs possible sitting on the couch watching cartoons, munching on salty snacks, maybe playing Mario Kart, occasionally banging. Nice.

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