Do you suffer from a dearth of mythological humor and rad pictures?
do you lie awake at night wondering what my real name is?
do you have a pesky neighbor kid who keeps stomping on your tomatoes?
order my first book
it will solve all your problems
it will arrive in the mail
you can sit on your front porch
the postman will put it right in your hand
and then you can immediately throw it at that fucking kid
the corner will lodge right in his smug little eye
it is aerodynamically designed
I designed it for that
he will be so surprised
everyone will be so surprised
you will be a goddamn legend
all for a measly 14 dollars.
BUY IT AT
ONE ALL OF THESE PLACES:
– AMAZON (Has already marked it off 20 percent! Savings!)
– INDIE BOUND (Useful for preventing the death of literature!)
– BARNES AND NOBLE (Still in business, baby!)
– PENGUIN (The dudes what published it!)
Or if you’re not convinced, go read some reviews!
History With a Twist!
The Daily Grail!
Good Books Radio! (This one is actually an interview)
Goodreads! (Rated 4.2!)
HOLY BALLS THAT’S A LOT OF REVIEWS! THOSE DUDES MUST KNOW SOMETHING!