At least the iliad didn’t fuck your dad too OH WAIT

So this is the last one
happily coinciding with the day
that the echeck that fine superhero of a fan sent to me
actually cleared
also perfect timing
because tomorrow
or maybe the day after tomorrow
i am going to get in a car
and drive to Denver Colorado
and start making some serious use
of this little mobile broadband thing i bought
anyway who gives a shit
let’s hear about dead bodies

Next time i get a total of 20 bucks
I’ll probably do the Aeneid
Unless you have a better idea

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How many mothers would the iliad fuck if the iliad could fuck mothers? ANSWER: YOURS

Alright so i hear it is talk like a pirate day
fuck that
i am not your fucking heartie
you wanna know why
because if you were to walk up to a pirate
like arr matey ye be bilgerattin me gangplank ahoy
you would find yourself on a one way
midnight express
to stabtown
population: your dumb ass

look guys all of this avast bullshit
is really fucking disrespectful to the pirate community
anyway what about somali pirates
i bet they dont say yarr too much do they?
well maybe they do
that’s a bad example
but how about scurvy dog
i dont think they say that very much
i dont even think they speak english very much
how does that make you feel
does it make you feel bad about yourself?
if so
i have admirably fulfilled my role
in ACT like a pirate day
which is a new holiday
scheduled for every day
of the rest of my life
now here’s a video about murder

I don’t need captain jack fuckity sparrow
telling me how to talk
and neither do you
break free motherfuckers
break free

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How would you feel if you came home to find that the Iliad had fucked your mother?

Big news guys
today the amount of imaginary money i have earned
from the google adsense bullshit monetary tomfoolery carnival
broke FORTY DOLLARS!
Only sixty more to go before I am 100 dollars richer
in REAL money
but please don’t interpret this as some kind of a missive
to CLICK MY ADS
that would be against the terms of use or something
anyway here’s a video of some guy with no shirt on

has anyone here
ever actually read the terms of use
all the way through
on anything
ever?

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What kind of Iliad is it? The MOTHERFUCKING kind. That’s what kind.

So alright
literally like 30 minutes after i posted that last myth
with that shameless plea for money
a kind kind soul
(whose name i will not divulge
out of courtesy
because i know all you bastards would be at his or her door
tomorrow morning
with your tin cups out)
gave me twenty american dollars
CAN YOU BELIEVE IT
I have now made enough money off this blog
to afford the little wireless device
that will give me internet wherever I go
I ordered it two minutes ago
and UPS is bringing it to the house i have broken into
and slept in for the past week and a half
so thank you, kind stranger
here is your awesome reward
or at least 1/4 of it

new city
new hat
same shirtless

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