Perseus?

like there is this huge dick who goes to the oracle at delphi

and he says “what is up oracle”
and the oracle says well
basically your grandson is going to kill you
and the guy, who is actually also a king
goes OHHHH SNAPPPPP
GUESS I HAD BETTER BUILD A GIANT PRISON AROUND MY DAUGHTER SO SHE CAN’T GET KNOCKED UP
and he builds the prison

and then zeus is flying around being a dick
and he sees this chick in the prison, which happens to have an open roof
and he’s like you know what, i have not raped enough women lately
let me just turn into some golden dust and pour on in there and impregnate this chick
so he does
and she gives birth to perseus
who goes and slays medusa
and brings back the headand then is so excited by all of this that he shows the head to his grandfather, who has totally usurped the kingdom and done a terrible job in perseus’ absence basically
and his granddad and all of his loyal asshole lackeys turn to stone
boom
prophecy
FULFILLED

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8 thoughts on “Perseus?

  1. You should tell Medusa’s story if you haven’t already. I mean, she was raped by her cousin and then turned into a monster by her niece and then her nephew killed her on a dare. Poor thing,.

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