Kali gets jiggy with it

So it has come to my attention
that one of the few mythoses
which i have not stuck my grubby appendages into
is the pantheon
of India
watch as I rectify that

so kali right

she is this badass trick alright
she is a chick
who wears a necklace of HUMAN HEADS
has four arms
with which to hold swords
and is the goddess of like

but then
there is this other chick
who has TEN ARMS
and rides on LIONS
and is always carrying like
weapons AND flowers
well ok i guess the flowers dont help much
but anyway
at the beginning of this myth
Durga is trying to kill the shit out of this demon
and raktabija is having none of it
actually he is having less than none of it
because every time durga cuts him
his blood goes flying everywhere
and turns into MORE OF HIM
so the only way to win in this situation
and in fact really actually
even that wouldn’t work
because then raktabija would kill you
so Durga gets fed up with this bullshit
and she is like HEY KALI
and Kali comes shooting out of Durga’s forehead
all like WHAT
and durga is like shit yes there are
how about these billion demons i just created
and kali is like THAT WILL DO NICELY

so then kali just drinks ALL of raktabija’s blood
and then she hangs some of them i guess cause she has a bunch of nooses
on top of all the swords she also has
and then she puts all the duplicates into her mouth
just sort of places them there
and then murders them all
and spits them all back out all the fuck over everywhere

so then she’s standing in a field of dead bodies
and there is nothing kali likes more
than standing in a field
of dead bodies
and she starts boogieing the FUCK out
PS how come spell check thinks boogieing is a word
i am pleasantly surprised

anyway kali is a motherfucking disco inferno all over these corpses
stomping their fucking teeth out all over the place
and one of the bodies
for some reason
is Kali’s husband shiva
dunno what the fuck he was doing there
wearing a demon constume?
was this some kind of like
demon convention
where he was cosplaying?
i don’t fucking know
all i know is shiva seems like kind of a loser
because in all the pictures of him i can find
kali is either standing on his back
or standing on his face
and this is in fact exactly what starts happening now
and shiva is like OW WIFE FUCK OW WHAT
and kali is like oh shit i’m sorry
and she stops dancing
and i guess the rest of the dead bodies are saved

so the moral of the story is
do not get married
because your husband
might end up being one of the dead bodies you are trampling
and his anguished cries
will totally buzzkill the party

the end

26 thoughts on “Kali gets jiggy with it

  1. Oh man. I laughed so hard I almost pissed my pants.
    Maybe it's just me being weird with the Hindus or whatever, but I went to Nepal the other month to see how the Gods were being celebrated for being all mighty and shit, and this just made Shiva look like a pussy.

    Thanks for the constant entertainment and reason for procrastination.

  2. The reason that Shiva laid down and let Kali dance on him is because her victory dance was so hardcore that it was threatening to destroy the universe.

    Also the reason why you always see her with her tongue out is because when she realized she was curb stomping her husband she bit her own tongue in shame, which I guess is like Hindu goddess for “my bad”.

  3. Pingback: King Muchukunda Knows How To Get His Nap On | Myths RETOLD

  4. Tonight I will make a very important post here about how Shiva and Kali worshippers (Chandalas and Chandalis) convert taurean (bull) ‘s pinda into jenivara or sacred thread in Kali Samshan and also use it as pretha asana and pretha vahana by beautiful dirty chandali women in the process of reaching shiva or chandalis husband in Kilash. The chandali’s journey starts from Kali Samshan and ends in Kilash.

  5. I have expreienced black magic (Samshan Kali Tantra) done by Shiva and Kali worshippers since 1970 and still experiencing it. If anybody want to know how bastard doctors get black magic done to generate patients for their hospitals to make crores of rupees then contact me. The chandala who runs Kali Devastana is the one who does black magic on people for money. To know more about which caste people get black magic performed on taurean’s or Shivanna’s bull then contact me through PM. It is a very big bastard Shiva and Kali worshippers network in India and outside India which create rahu dasha and shani dasha for taurean’s in the process of fucking Kali women.

  6. The Indian mytholology has been proved in the above links that is as existance of all Hindu gods and goddess in the human physiology and also in the siddhis of chandalas and chandalis (Shiva and Klai worshippers) who use the stepni bull to ask make mantra japa freefly for the fucktard Shivanna and Kalamma.

    In future use bull (taurean) shit to do abhishekam of the retardad chandala Shiva and also Kali. Let them live on Bull Shit.

  7. Fucking Kali or Kali women are true bitches and there only purpose in life is to create Samshan or graveyard full of mind dead people by removing prana and kundalini from bodies and use the mind dead boothas and prethas to get vote for fucking politician or bussinessmen Shiva or retarded bastard Shiva or Shivanna or Shiva worshipper and the fucking Shiva’s and Kali women’s only purpose is to read the minds of mind dead people or mind dead bull and burn it from the read thoughts and fuck hard like a true maniac in the fucking Kali or Kalamma graveyard.

    In India the reddy caste bastards make extensive use of Kali tantra to get construction labourours created and use them as boothas or prethas for hard labour.

  8. The fucktard Shiva or Kali women tell that Shiva or Shivanna’s lingam is the longest in the universe and it is true because the fucktard Shiva has no other work other than fuck boothas and prethas and bitch Kali in the Kali or Kalamma’s graveyard that he created to earn some fucking money to buy things for fucking bitch Kali using his stepni bull. He also teaches fucking Kali or Kali women about how to change the stepni when needed.

  9. The fucktard shivanna’s (Shiva or Shiva worshipper) and bitch Kali or Kalamma (Kali worshipping women) vishwaroopa or uinversal form is seen in the samshan or graveyard created throughout India by performing or getting performed various Kali tantras on Shiva’s stepni the bull and make the stepnis, boothas and prethas (mind dead spirits) live in Congress party controlled slums.

    The fucktards of reddy, gowda, lingayat and many other fucktard Shiva and Kali worshipping casts have created slums, boothas and prethas to earn money in the graveyard.

    The get kali tantra performed on people on non shiva worshipping castes at a very young age like 2 or 3 years and then take them to deep hypnotic state and make them lift Kundalini to wrong Phsycic center and create mind dead bull and then attach the shani (Muslim Shani pinda) to the bull pinda and bring fucking Kali women’s dirty bitchy mind on mind dead bull’s or peoples and use them to earn fucking money to eat chicken and pig thay fucking bitch Kali women prepares.

  10. To get a list of chandala and chandali castes in India and abroad who live like parasites on mind dead bull that Shivanna and Kalamma creates to fuck and who make the mind dead bull and boothas and prethas depend upon fucking Shivanna’s and Kalamma’s lingam so that fucking Shivanna and Kalamma can call the mind dead bull as parasite contact me @ jayanthd2k12@gmail.com

  11. In India to talk with Kali or Kali women or Kalamma one has to use the garland of Kalamma or burnt skull graland made out of Shiva’s stepni the bull. The bull’s dead mind (killed after Shivanna and Kalamma make bull lift Kundalini to wrong phsycic center in the shivanna created rahu or chandala rahu (shiva) dasha) is a medium for fucktard Shiva to telephatically take with fucking bitchy Kali women.

  12. He the fucktard Shiva or Shiva worshipper and bitchy Kali women are not yogis as they call themselves but they are sexists who use their lingam to do hardcore sex in Kali graveyard created by performing Samshan Kali Tantra on Shiv’s stepni the bull. Shiva and Kali women created Shani pinda or slutty, slummy, dirty Shani pinda or mind dead people or mind dead bulls after they together create rahu dasha for bull when bull borns and then at the very end of the rahu dasha they fuctards together telephatically tell the bull (taurean) to lift Kundalini to wrong Phsycic center so that they can instantly ceate a graveyard for bitchy Kali women to dangle and eat chicken and pig and transfer their karmas to the bull’s pinda or mind.

    It is how the Congree party bastards created Samshan or graveyard, slums, mental hospital for boothas, prethas and mind dead (Killed) stepni bull to get vote by supplying boothas and prethas with chicken and licquar during election time.

    It is very interesting to know that all licquaor barons in India are from fucktard Shiva and Kali worshipping castes and they supply free licquor for boothas, prethas (mind dead (Killed) people during election time to get votes. This is how the Congress party, JDS party and many other chandala and chandali partiers work in India.

  13. The story of Hindu gods, godesses, chandala (Shiva) and chandali (Kali) is not a mythology anymore as it is proven to the world in defferent ways. So the title of this webpage should be hindu reality and not mythology.

    When you come to India Shiva and Kalamma will Invite you and show you the slums, mental hospital, graveyards that Congress and JDS party people have created and also the fucktard Shiva and Kali worshipping bastards and bitches have created with the power of chandala tantras.

    The story of Hindu gods, godesses, chandala (Shiva) and chandali (Kali) is not a mythology anymore as it is proven to the world in defferent ways. So the title of this webpage should be hindu reality and not mythology.

    When you come to India Shiva and Kalamma will Invite you and show you the slums, mental hospital, graveyards that Congress and JDS party people have created and also the fucktard Shiva and Kali worshipping bastards and bitches have created with the power of chandala tantras.

    It is also to be noted that a chandala and chandali of reddy caste in South India has looted resources with the help of boothas, prethas (mind dead bulls and people) and has built an empire where Kali women chandalis control the nara and nadis of stepni boothas and prethas.

    Tell fucking shivas to put of Shiva’s stepni bull’s shit in his head so that he can think about other things other than eating chicken and fucking Kali women in the Kali graveyard.
    Also tell fucktard Shivas (very many shivas) and bitchy Kali women not to use bull as stepni to make a living like a parasite and act like fucktard God.

    Shiva and Kali’s or fucktard Shiva and Kali worshippers (Chandala and Chadalis) shit is of no use and so they use and talk about bull shit the shit of bull (taurean) the stepni of fucktard Shiva or Shivanna.

    So, stop talking about bull (taurean) shit and start talking about Shiva and Kali women’s shit (Samshan, slum or graveyard, mental hospital).

    Another thing about Congress and JDS chandala Shiva and Chandali Kali women doctors in India is that they complete their education with quota (reservation) by eating bull pinda and then they keep a tantrik Shiva or Shivanna to create patients (boothas, prethas, shani pindas, mind dead boothas or mind killed boothas or dead spirits with body dangling after fucktard Shiva doctor and bitchy Kali (doctor) will get kundalini of bull lifted to wrong phsycic center during their fucking journey in fucking Samshan or Kali graveyard.

    In India the chandala and chandali doctors, the Shani lawyer and shani police is created with fucktard Shiva or Shivanna’s and Kali or Kalamma’s tantra. They are thought from very young age about how to eat different pindas or minds like chicken pinda, pig pinda and finally bull (taurean) pinda.

    Come to India and do a research about Congress and JDS Shiva’s and Kali’s shits.

  14. The fucking Shiva (doctor form) and Kali (doctor form) first creates patients in Samshan or Kali graveyard by getting Samshan Kali tantra performed on people of other castes by first creating rahu dasha for stepni bulls and other pindas (minds and spirit complex) and make them lift kundalini to wrong Phsycic centers to create different kinds of patients so that fucktard Indian Shiva doctor and bitchy fucking Indian Kali women doctor can feast on patient pinda and earn some money. When stepni bootha or pretya (mind dead) pinda gets converted gradually to Shani pinda they usually do a visarjan of shani pindas at Shani temple, mental hospital, graveyard and very many sacred places that Shiva and Kali together has created.

  15. The Kali chandalis or Kali worshipping Chandalis under the effect of Kali tantra that they perform to create mind dead people or boothas and prethas has a habit and craving of eating different pindas (spirits) like chicken pinda, goat pinda, sheep pinda, cow pinda, pig pinda, other kinds of dead bodies and finally bull (taurean) stepni pinda and their minds are created out of fucking dead bodies that they have eaten and are like graveyard and they also live in the graveyard created by performing Samshan (graveyard) Kali tantra. The read thoughts of mind killed boothas and prethas and make a living like parasites. You can come to India and study about different chandala caste people who get Kali tantra performed and create boothas and prethas, slums, mental hospitals and other shitty things to make a living.

    In India the boothas and prethas (mind killed) people do hard labour and take very less payment as they are under the control of Kali women. The Klai women control the nara and nadis of mind dead people and make them dance like maniacs. It is a very pleasant and descent thing for Shiva because he is a fucktard retarded Huccha.

    When you come to India if you make friendship with chandalas and chandalis then they will teach you how to eat different kinds of pindas and dead bodies.

    The greatest and advanced chandalas in Kumbha mela eat bull pinda (mind and spirit) and also feast on bull (taurean) dead bodies. They make use of bull fully.

  16. nadi should be corrected as naadi. Nara and nadi means nervous and arteries and veins and also subtle physcic pranic channels.

    The subtle pranic channels of bootha’s and pretha’s (contruction labourours, little bootha patients with mind partly dead and big bootha patients) will be under the control of Kali women (reddy, gowda, lingayat, and other Shiva and Kali worshipping caste women and also Shani and Chandi Muslim’s in India). The boothas are trained by Congress and JDS Kali women to feast on chicken, goat, sheep, pig and other dead bodies so that Samshan Kali or graveyard Kali women can easily convert the boothas to non-vegitarian pindas so that chicken and pig selling Chandali in India can make a living.

  17. So, It is not the bull (taurean) which is mad but it is Kali women chandalis who try to make bull mad by getting Kali or Samshan Kali tantra performed and not allowing vishnu worshipper bull not to get Maha Sudarshana Homam performed.

    Come to India and count how many bull boothas/ prethas and other zodiac sign boothas/prethas live in Samshan/graveyard created by Congress and JDS reddy, gowda, Muslims, and other chandala castes people.

  18. When a person is under the effect of Samshan Kali Tantra he is dead to the outer world (as I the bull have experienced) and he will not feel any pain even if his hands or nailed or cut off like it was done to Jesus because the mind and prana will be totally and deeply under the control of Kali tantra (performed or gotten performed by Chandalis) to destroy bull’s life and call it mad and use it to hang on and make a living and supply dead bull’s for her fucking husband Shiva or Shivanna to erect his lingam and act like God.

  19. Shiva and Kali worshippers (Chandalas and Chandalis) also know when and how to tie mystic talisman to stepni bull.

    In India Congress Muslim Chandalas alo learn the mystic Shiva’s tantra from retarded guru and use it to tie talisman to bull of other caste.

  20. Another thing about fucking Shiva or retarded Shiva worshipper chandala is that he uses stepni bull (taurean) to show his manliness to Kali by letting Kali call bull as mad bull and then Shivanna’s and Kalamma’s lingas erect and they fuck like hardcore bastards and bitches in their Samshan or graveyard.

  21. Poem here corrected according to fucking Shiva and bitch Kali.


    You the Shiva are retarded and has to carry the Samshan (graveyard), stepnis and boothas and prethas that you and your fucking wife Kali has created

    Don’t Don’t make bull carry the Samshan, boothas, prethas that you and your fucking bitchy Kali has created.

    Release the bull and if possible create some other fucking story of yourself.

  22. Corrected after bitch Kali effect removed from mind.

    So, It is not the bull (taurean) which is mad but it is Kali women chandalis who try to make bull mad by getting Kali or Samshan Kali tantra performed on bull and not allowing vishnu worshipper bull to get Maha Sudarshana Homam performed.

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